Easy Living

I believe that I always strive to live within my means. This summer I accomplished that, well at least I think I did. Ever since I moved to Ketchikan in early March I have been living with next to the bare minimum in cook ware.

Pictured above: one pot for all cooked meals, one red plate to dine upon, a tupperware with no lid to act as a bowl, two forks, two spoons (one permanently designated for peanut butter), one trusty pocket knife (double duty as a can opener), one butter knife, one pizza tray for frozen pizzas and corndogs, one strainer, and last but not least my cherished wolf mug for all of those fancy drinks. Oh, and to top it all off I used one sponge for the entire duration of my summer.

Boat Dogs

Boat dogs are awesome. My favorite part about them is that they have usually been on the water with the same people for a long period of time, when they see a new person (me) they are easily won over by the smallest bit of attention. Come to think of it... that's how most of the deckhands are too.

People!

Here are some of my favorite pictures I've creeped this summer.

Waiting to tie up the ship.

All the happy people coming to Ketchikan.

Hiding from mom.

The captain.

Victoria, fellow bus driver.

Standing in the middle of the street, the perfect place to take a picture.

Best old lady ever!

Ready for anything man.

Purple velvet it so in.

Bryce just killing it.

The windswept look.

And by far my favorite, naked man checking himself out in the mirror.

The Last Cruise Ship!!!

Today was the last day of cruise ships for Ketchikan! It was a bittersweet day that was unusual from beginning to end. To really get a feel of how strange of a day it was I shall narrate it from start to finish.

Wake up at 7:30am and I don't have to be at work until 9:15, already this is strange because I get to sleep in. Realizing I have the extra time I decide to take an extra long, hot shower to prepare myself for the last day of driving bus. I start brushing my teeth and hop in the shower because this is my favorite way to brush my teeth. (I don't have to worry about excess toothpaste getting into my beard this way) I begin to wash my hair and beard, then condition, the usual routine. But halfway through the rinse the water starts to go cold... I have been using this shower all summer and I have never once run out of hot water. But regardless, I finish the rinse in the cold water and step out of the shower. Shave the neck beard and comb the hair, just getting presentable for the masses of tourists. When the time comes for application of deodorant I have just enough to apply sparingly to both pits. I ran out of deodorant on the last day that I needed it! Magic. Rest of the morning goes smoothly. I get to work, drive into town and wait for my first transfer. It goes off without a hitch, everyone loves my joke and an old lady tells me I've had the best jokes so far on her vacation. Return to town to pick up the next group, but no... the ship is late! We leave 30 minutes late and they tell me to, "make it work out." I'm supposed to turn an hour long tour into roughly 45 minutes. Well hell, I can make magic happen because I've got the remnants of my Old Spice spurning me on. Leave town, stop in totem pole park and proceed to condense 30 minutes of talking into about 15. Boom, back on schedule and Ronnie is a hero. Get tipped like a champ and move on to next duty. I was supposed to be back with plenty of time to start my next tour but the late arrival of the ship has delayed me, bosses freaking out "where is Ronnie!?!?!" I get on the radio, "Don't worry, I got this!" Arrive with two minutes to spare, everyone gets on board and proceeds to have an awesome time with me for the next two and a half hours. Rave reviews, once again tipped like a boss. Go to last duty without incident, come back as the second to last bus and watch the people get on board, the door closes. We watch the last cruise ship of the year sail off into a gorgeous Ketchikan sunset. Game, set, match. I've made it through the summer without leaving any tourists behind, without an accident, and with a smile on my face.

Me taking a picture of Keith taking a picture of the last ship.

Goodbye until next year!!!

A Sage of the Sea

This here is Rudy, the picture does not do him justice because I took it with my phone. Regardless, the man is a B to the A. Rudy has been buying fuel from us for years, he is a local and he has become one of my good friends. Not only does he run his own gillnetter as a post retirement hobby, but he's always got something to say. From words of wisdom, to politics, to introducing me to women, Rudy is quite the wild card.

"Ronnie, you want to know what's wrong with America? Credit cards! Cash is king my friend, when you use cash they can't track you."

(Yelling to another boat at the fuel dock) "Hey Emma!" (Girl looks over) "Emma, come over here and meet Suave Ronnie!"

"Hey Ron, have you talked to Emma yet?" (The nice young lady he introduced me to) 'No Rudy, last I time you told me she was locked up with a fella.' "Well hell Ronnie! That doesn't mean she's off the market, I've been married for years and my wife isn't locked up! You're a commodity Ronnie now start acting like one!"

"So Ronnie, will I see you next year if I'm still alive?" 'Still alive? Rudy you're not that old, you can still jump your ass out of that boat.' "Ah hell Ron, I'm on the wrong side of 60, I just make it look easy."

(This conversation would happen literally every time he came to fuel up) "What do you bet me that I have the exact change?" 'Rudy, I could hear your pockets jingling as you walked. I know you have the exact change.' "Smart man..."

And my favorite saying that I could count on hearing every time, "I got no time to bullshit!"

I'm gonna miss Rudy when I leave Ketchikan, but I know that when I leave he will still be passing on his knowledge and swearing like the sailor he is.

Strange Thoughts and Unusual Accomplishments

Today was kind of a weird day all around. I got to sleep in until seven, but I had to work until ten at night with some gaps in between. But most of all I had a large amount of alone time today to think about my life this summer. Some of the things I thought about.

Strange thoughts...
1. I have driven almost 3,000 miles on an island that only has 36 miles of road.
2. I haven't ridden in a vehicle that I wasn't driving in over 6 months and those vehicles include: my truck (Darla), various buses, vans, trolleys, forklifts, and fuel trucks.
3. I can't remember the last time I cut my toenails, but somehow they look trimmed.
4. Why do I talk to myself in buses but not in my truck?
5. How did I get here? (I have this thought many times in a day of bus driving.)
6. I wonder what those people thought of me.
7. Do the people stare at the back of my head when I talk?
8. What does the back of my head look like?
9. Will my friends think I look different when I get back?

I had all of those thoughts and more today but I also had some unusual accomplishments today as well.

Unusual accomplishments... (with accompanying stories.)
1. I got to use the term "clam bake" in reference to a large group of lesbian women. (Today we had a lesbian cruise, 2,000 lesbian women all on the same cruise ship and I got to drive a group of them.)
2. I got to drive a bus on a boat. (We had three new buses come in on the ferry at eight o'clock at night and I was selected to go down and drive one of them back to our bus barn. So I got to drive the bus off of the boat and back onto the land.)
3. I got to drive a bus in shorts. (Same story as above, since I didn't have any passengers I could wear whatever I wanted and I wanted to wear shorts!)
4. I had someone understand my "Kobayashi Shake" joke. (After picking up a group of people who just got done visiting an all-you-can-eat crab feed I always joke about aiming for the potholes to simulate the "Kobayashi Shake." Today was the first day that I had someone really laugh at it and say they knew what that was.)
5. I sat on a couch and just relaxed. (Something that I haven't done in a while and I miss.)

So there you have it. A glimpse into a day in the life of me.

I Might Need Help

So this little gem was tucked into a ten dollar bill that I was given as a tip today.

Ok ok. I feel like I should give a little bit of back story to how I got this card. Being that it is September and I've been working like a dog, my filter is not quite what it used to be and on certain occasions I blurt things out that I shouldn't. I was with a particularly great group, they were excited about the tour and they were asking lots of question. I love groups that ask questions because you know that they are interested. But anywho, it was almost the end of the tour and I had them with me for another ten to fifteen minutes. They had moved on from questions about Ketchikan, to questions about my life. "Where are you from?" "Where is home for you?" "Do you have a girlfriend?" "Where are you going after this?" These are just some of the questions that they peppered me with. And being in my devil-may-care attitude, I answered all of the questions with complete honesty! They had a hard time believing I didn't have a "home base" to go back to and that I am a hobo of sorts. I'm not quite sure they could really grasp how living in my truck for a while wasn't that bad, it is actually quite fun. One lady in the front seat just kept repeating, "Your poor mother..." and I'm not sure who gave me the inspirational card, but I think I made an impression on them.

Year End Bus Party

So last night was the end of the year party for all of the bus drivers and friends of bus drivers. And let me tell you I had a blasty blast! There was cupcakes in the formation of a cake and chicken wings and those tiny little sandwiches that you can eat like seven of and not feel like a fatty because they are so tiny. But back to the festivities, the company was fantastic and the proceedings were excellent. A number of speeches were made and many laughs were shared amongst us all. There were even a few awards given out! I was selected as the runner-up rookie of the year. Quite an honor considering that I only worked two days a week, but still, I was honored to have such an award bestowed upon me. I have had an amazing summer working for them and I have met many wonderful people because of it.

Boobs!

Some little prankster made a boring old telephone pole into a day brightener. Of all of the things to spray paint on a telephone pole, I think this is a word that will offend nobody. Thank you random stranger for a few chuckles on my way to work this morning.

Rain Rain, Don't Go Away...

...the sun can come back another day. It officially feels like fall and to ring in the new season it decided to rain six inches today! The rain here is a defining feature of Ketchikan and it brings a quiet beauty to an already amazing place.

Sweet Baby Child!

I got to drive my baby! Good ole' bus 826, she might be 15 years older than me but she is most definitely a golden oldie. I mean she is a real Rosa Parks kind of gal, but she handles the corners smooth and steady and rides like a dream. But like all older gals she has got some quirks that you have to know in order to get her to ride nice and proper. First of all, she has no power steering! Apparently when they made buses in 1974 they were manly enough that they didn't need power steering. I wholeheartedly approve, even though it takes a little bit more effort to get her started, it makes those smooth turns all the more satisfying not to mention you get a little bit of sympathy from the passengers when they see you working so hard. The next quirk is that she doesn't use a key to get started, it more like the dial on an old washing machine and a button. And if you want to get her started on the first try you have to have just the right touch. There really is an art to it that I can't put in to words, it's a lot of give and take and listening and waiting for just the right moment. Lastly, and this isn't really a quirk, there is a small panel in the front of the bus that one can open and close to let air flow in. To whoever decided to but this on the bus... you are the most brilliant person in the history of ever! On a warm day such as today it is an absolute godsend. I say that because the panel is located right in front of the right leg of the driver. Why is this so awesome? Think about it. The air travels right up my pant leg and across my privates creating a cooling sensation usually reserved for the confines of my own home. It is pure magic. Although on hot days when I'm particularly sweaty I do feel bad for the people sitting behind me, but the wind is usually going by so fast that they have no idea what's hitting them. I love this bus!

From First Class to No Class

So today was a double dip day. From 6am to 11am I was driving my bus around and from 11am to 7pm I was working with the boats just like I would any other day. Between those two jobs I got to see quite an array of different people all in the small area that is Ketchikan Alaska.

Person number 1 - a middle aged Asian lady traveling alone, who was born and raised in Boise Idaho. Needless to say we were already kindred spirits because of the Idaho connection as well as the fact that I love me some chinese food. We talked fondly of the city of trees, how Idaho had so many cool things to offer and the best kinds of ways to make egg rolls. She was polite and the picture of kindness. Quite a nice lady to spend some of my morning talking to.

Person number 2 and 3 - A couple in their late 30's from Birmingham Alabama. A real southern bell and her gentleman husband. A real class act, they told me all about their children who had just gone off to college and this cruise was their celebratory "our kids are out of the house" deal. They told me that I was a great example of a young person who had graduated college and not moved back in with the parentals afterwards. Upon going our separate ways they said to me, "I hope that our children can be as adventurous as you one day." Very flattering and somewhat ego boosting!

Person number 4 - A fellow from foggy old London town! We got to talking about all of the best kinds of fish to eat and after much deliberation we both settled on halibut. I told him all about the best halibut in town, which is the Alaskan Amber Ale beer battered halibut at one of the local fish joints and he told me all about a fantastic restaurant in London aptly named "The Halibut" that had the best fish and chips in all of London.

That concludes all of the interesting people that I met in the first few hours of my day, there were the usual suspects on the bus as well, but those were the interesting ones. After that it was a quick change of clothes out in my car and off to my other job. This is the part of the day where I start meeting people with no class...

Person number 5 - A deckhand off of a small fishing boat. It's one in the afternoon and this guy is already drunk as a skunk, I mean I am getting a contact high from this guy. And to paint a picture of what this man looks like he has roughly eight teeth, a huge scraggly salt and pepper beard and an American flag bandana. I shall now rehash some of the conversational gems this man had to offer.
Him: You know man, I'm just pulling fish in... and them I'm counting em all like, "one fish! two fish!" and all them fish is just money in my pocket man!
Me: It's like free money!
Him: I know! Like all of that money is just swimming in the ocean and I just gotta reach in and, you know, grab it! Its all just (incoherent babbling) man!
Him: But you know, I'm pretty much the best deckhand there is... cuz skipper there (points at captain) well he wakes up at five, and when he does that I (some incoherent babbling about coffee cups) and then the FLAPJACKS! Fuggin FLAPJACKS MAN!!! Every morning! (From here he proceeds to laugh for a good minute straight.)
Me: (Laughing along with him) I would kill for some flapjacks right now.
Him: And for lunch, well I sit right there drink my beers and rum and coke, and I eat all sorts of eetos!
Me: Eetos?
Him: Yeah man! You know! Doritos, Cheetos, Fritos...
Me: It's like you're living the dream man.
Him: But really man, you see that dog there? (points to small terrier on the boat) That's the skippers dog.
Me: Is it a good dog?
Him: I call him my burrito dog.
Me: What? Why?
Him: Cause in the morning when the skipper gets up the dog gets in the covers with me and I wrap him up with me and he's my burrito dog.
(As they are pulling way from the dock)
Him: (yelling towards me) Hey! Hey man!
Me: What's up buddy?
Him: (puts fist in the air in a black panther salute) ... I love you homie...
Me: ...

And so this concludes some of the characters I get to see on a day to day basis in Ketchikan.